In life, certain myths persist that can hinder our personal growth and success. From the illusion of being able to do it all, to the false belief that our origins define our destiny, these misconceptions can trap us in a cycle of unrealistic expectations and self-doubt.
In this article, I debunk five pervasive myths that often lead us astray, sharing insights and personal experiences to help you navigate through life’s challenges with a clearer perspective and a renewed sense of purpose.
Societal myths I’ve stopped believing
1. You can do it all
In my experience, you can’t do it all. Certainly not all at once. You have to prioritize. You have to sacrifice some things in order to get other things done.
Whenever I’ve tried to do it all (grow our business, personal projects, motherhood, being a homemaker, fitness, emotional, mental and spiritual health, financial management, etc) something always falls through the cracks.
There’s always a blind spot and something always gets missed (some kids’ homework is not done, some dates are missed, dinners end up being late, some chores are not done, some appointments forgotten). Something. And I’m a very organized person.
It’s important to prioritize. You have to really decide what’s important to you and prioritize accordingly. You must also give yourself grace and room to fail. Try not to beat yourself up when everything doesn’t go as smoothly as planned and try not to hold yourself to some perfectionist standards. Especially if you are someone who holds yourself to high standards, because it’s extremely easy for you to fall into this trap.
2. You don’t need anyone
It is true that being vulnerable and letting people in opens you up to the possibility of being taken advantage of or hurt.
And no one likes pain. Unless you’re a masochist and you get off on that sort of stuff.
But assuming you’re a normal human being, no one likes pain.
It is that fear of pain that certain factions of society latch on to and pushes this agenda in both traditional and social media. There is a saying though “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with someone”.
The truth is, you need people. All our successes in life are tied to our relationships with people. All our wins are tied to our relationships with people. The most meaningful relationships are only formed when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
Knowing this though, we need to develop and maintain healthy boundaries.
3. You must have it all together by a certain age
While I don’t believe in sitting around and wasting your life with the crutch or excuse, that “I still have time/I don’t have to have it all figured out”, I also don’t believe that everyone needs to follow some strict predefined timeline.
Finish college by 21. Successful career by 25. Married by 30. Kids by 35. Blah blah and whatever else they try to program us into believing.
The truth is you can start your journey at any age. It is YOUR journey after all.
What matters most is that you spend the time to really figure out what matters to you, the life you want to live, where you want to go, the kind of experiences you want to have, the impact you want to make on the world and focus on building the wealth necessary to live the life that’s important to you.
Nothing is set in stone. There are some basic principles to life, true. But how those principles apply to each of us and our different journeys may differ vastly from one person to the next.
Don’t get sucked into the rat race trying to meet someone else’s deadlines over your life. Don’t simply be a cog in the system.
Instead, figure out how you can use the system to your advantage.
Set your own goals and work towards achieving them. Adjust your timelines accordingly. Change your goals as you grow and your mindset evolves. Don’t hold yourself to a predefined or black-and-white standard.
Humans are way too colourful as a species to fit into this box-A-or-box-B ideology.
4. Where you are born matters
That this one is one of the biggest lies in society, I have been living proof.
When I tell people I grew up in a leaky board house; that I used to live off welfare food from Food For The Poor; that I used to have to eat jackfruit seeds to go to bed sometimes; that many nights I went to be without food; that basic health care was a luxury we couldnt afford; that I used to carry water in buckets on my head for miles; that I grew up in poverty, they are always shocked.
Someone would look at me now and see that I speak eloquently-ish (or at keast, I try), I dress well, I drive my own car, I eat what I want when I want, I own my time, I live in a nice home in a nice community, I am now in a position where I can employ someone else.
Someone would look at me now and it would not dawn on them that I used to be impoverished.
Someone would see a soft feminine Lis and they would never have guessed that I used to be a rough and rugged tomboy. That I used to be more masculine.
Someone would look at me now, happily married with three kids and they would never guess that I was a single teen mom. That I hated men at some point because I thought they were all the same.
Someone would see me now and I appear to have it all together (more or less), and they would never guess that I was self-loathing, void of self-confidence and self-esteem and actually suicidal (thank God those attempts failed).
Why am I saying this?
Because how you start is really irrelevant in the great scheme of things.
You have zero power over your start point but you have 100% power over where you end up. You can get up right now and decide you want your life to change and just like that, you’ll begin to see changes.
No, it doesn’t happen overnight. Yes, it’s hard a.f. But it is absolutely possible and when you finally change your life it is so well worth it.
It will be impossible for you to go back to the life you left behind once you have created the life you want for yourself. Because the truth is that you have to become a different person in order to create a different life.
And this is something you most certainly can do.
5. People don’t change
Lies! This is a lie from the pit of hell.
People absolutely do change. At least you are supposed to.
It’s called growth. And you absolutely have the power to change any area of your life, regardless of how it’s always been.
You’ve always been overweight? You don’t have to die overweight. You’ve always been broke? You don’t have to die broke. You’ve always been single? You don’t have to die single. You’ve always been a loner and had no friends? You don’t have to die lonely. You’ve never been good at English? You don’t have to die never being good at English. You’ve never been a business type? You don’t have to die without creating a business. You’ve never been good with money? You don’t have to die a spendthrift. You’ve never been good with people? You don’t have to die with a lack of people skills.
Do you get where I’m going with this? You have the power to change any area of your life that you want.
Of course none of it is an overnight process and I believe that is where the problem in society lies.
Too many people want a quick fix. Too many people want the change to happen now. Instantly.
We aren’t willing to take the time and effort necessary to make slow gradual changes that are more sustainable in the long run.
This is why the weight loss industry is riddled with quick-fix fad diets that simply destroy people’s relationships with food and ultimately their self-confidence. This is why the financial industry is riddled with get-rich-quick schemes.
Most people want what they want now.
Where am I going with this?
People absolutely do change. And they’re supposed to. The person you are today should not be the same as the person you were 5 years ago and should be different from the person you will be 5 years from now. You are supposed to learn and grow.
Some core personality and character traits may remain the same but if you are evolving, you should see a difference.
Can you imagine if the caterpillar didn’t believe in change? Or if seeds didn’t believe in change? That would absolutely suck.
Oh “this is how I’ve always been”?. Well are you happy with your overall results in life? Yes? Then good. No? Then change. Because you absolutely can.
There are many people who knew one version of me in the past who wouldn’t recognize me now because of how much I’ve changed. Don’t fall for the lie. Change whatever you want to change about yourself to see the results you want to see.
In summary
In life, prioritizing is essential because you can’t do everything at once, and it’s okay if things aren’t perfect. Building meaningful relationships is crucial, even though it makes you vulnerable. Ignore societal timelines for success and follow your own path. Your beginnings don’t dictate your future; with faith, effort, and the right mindset, you can change your circumstances. People can and do change—growth takes time but leads to lasting improvements.
-Lis
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