This year, I’m not forcing anything to happen.
I’ve decided to let life flow and let things happen naturally—every relationship, every interaction, every experience. I’ll let them all unfold and take shape on their own.
There’s something about turning 35 this year that woke up a part of me that had been lying dormant for who knows how long. It’s the part of me that finally understands that forcing myself into situations or relationships where I’m not valued doesn’t help me grow.
In fact, it does the opposite. It steals my peace, my joy, and my ability to step fully into my purpose. It distracts me from serving God the way I should. It robs me of my ability to appreciate what’s in front of me. And it robs me of my ability to be fully present for the people I love and care about most.
One of the books that has changed my mindset is a book I read in the last quarter of 2024: Anchored In The Past: Breaking The Chains That Anchors, and it helped to shed light on just how I was clinging to relics of the past that were not meant to be a part of my future. So, this year, I’m done chasing after anything or anyone.
Boundaries Are Self-Respect
Now, this doesn’t mean I’m going around “cutting people off.” That’s not who I am. It just means that relationships will unfold naturally, and that’s enough for me. I will, however, be maintaining my boundaries because, let’s be real, that’s just self-respect.
I’m a mom of three boys, and they need to see what self-respect looks like. If I’m out here begging people to value me or forcing relationships that don’t serve me, what am I teaching them? I want my boys to grow up knowing their worth, and that starts with them seeing me value mine.
So, moving forward, anyone who values their pride more than they value their relationship with me will naturally fade into the background. Not because I shut the door, but because I’m no longer begging for scraps.
From Being Expendable to Being Empowered
A few weeks ago, I lost my job with the company I worked with for the last eight years. Eight years! I taught over 20,000 classes and worked with more than 25,000 students. My rating was a consistent 4.9 out of 5 stars. And yet, I missed one class, and just like that, my contract was terminated. No warning, no conversation—just gone. Drop boof! (As we say in Jamaica).
I’m strangely not “sad” about it, but it hit me hard, if I’m being honest. I gave so much to that job, but in the end, I was expendable. That moment showed me how important it is to value myself. For years I felt the tug in my soul that it was time for me to leave, but I remained in my comfort zone because I was afraid of what life on the other side of a straightforward “job-job” would be like. But I’m not allowing myself to be expendable anymore—not in anyone’s life or any situation.
If someone or something doesn’t value me, that’s fine. I’m done begging for recognition or validation. Instead, I’m going to focus on building something that does value me: my business; my blog; my family.
Effort ≠ Forcing
Don’t get me wrong—this doesn’t mean I’m just sitting back and letting life happen without putting in the work. That’s not who I am. I will always put in the effort needed to grow the things I care about and accomplish the goals I have for myself. But I’m no longer forcing anyone to see my worth.
This resolve is about shifting my energy and my mindset. I’m learning to focus on the things that build me up, not the things that tear me down.
A New Priority: Building Something That Matters
Instead of clinging to the past or holding onto relationships where I’m valued less than someone’s pride, I’m focusing on what truly matters. I’m pouring my time and energy into the relationships that bring me joy and work that’s meaningful.
My husband and I are building our own company, and that’s where my focus belongs—on something that God has entrusted us to create. It’s all about making sure my priorities are in check.
This year, I’m choosing to value what values me. I’m teaching my kids—and myself—that we don’t need to fight for scraps of attention or validation. We’re worth more than that.
So here’s to letting life flow, keeping my peace, and stepping fully into my purpose. Let the chips fall where they may.
-Lis
Leave a comment